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Relationship Sexual Needs Survey
Dear Sir or Madam, please take a few minutes of your time to complete the following questionnaire.
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Context: We were in a relationship for 8 years. My partner had much lower sexual needs than I did (around 5 times lower). At one point, a third person joined our relationship, and my partner suddenly showed much higher sexual desire—no longer appearing to be “asexual.” After we broke up with the additional person, my partner returned to having low or virtually no sexual interest. Question: I’d like to know how others would feel or act in a similar situation. Would you continue the relationship if there was a big mismatch in sexual needs, and if the partner only displayed desire when a third person was involved?
1
If you were in a long-term relationship where your partner had significantly lower sexual desire than you, would you continue the relationship?
Please select your response based on the given scenario.
Yes, because sex is not the most important aspect for me.
Yes, but I would try to find a compromise or seek therapy/solutions together.
It depends on other factors (love, shared life, etc.).
No, I would end the relationship due to sexual incompatibility.
2
If a third person joined the relationship and this sparked your partner’s sexual desire (i.e., they were no longer “asexual”), would you be willing to remain in that relationship?
Select your opinion on the impact of external factors on sexual desire.
Yes, if it improves the overall quality of the relationship and everyone is satisfied.
Yes, provided there are clearly defined rules and mutual consent from all parties.
I’m not sure; I would need time to think or discuss my concerns with my partner.
No, that would be unacceptable to me, and I’d prefer to end the relationship.
3
How will you feel whne you see your partner sexuality grow up but not with you
1 star bad 10 stars good
4
After the third person leaves and your partner goes back to having a low sex drive, would you continue the relationship knowing that their desire was only high when the third person was around?
Share your personal experience if applicable.
Yes, if our relationship overall is strong and sex is not a priority.
Yes, but I would try to understand their feelings and why this happens.
I’m not sure; it depends on whether my partner would be open to other solutions (therapy, an open relationship, etc.).
No, I would feel unfulfilled and would likely end things.
5
How important do you consider sexual compatibility in a long-term relationship?
Extremely important – without it, it’s hard to maintain a relationship.
Fairly important – it’s one of the pillars, but not the only one.
Not very important – there are more crucial aspects (love, trust, shared goals).
Not important at all – sex doesn’t play a big role in a relationship for me.
6
Do you believe that people with significantly different sexual needs can have a successful, long-lasting relationship?
Yes, if they communicate openly, seek compromises, and/or professional help.
It depends on their motivation, commitment, and creativity.
Probably not – eventually, it will lead to frustration and conflict.
Definitely not – a lack of sexual compatibility is too big an obstacle.
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